I found myself praying this morning:
“Lord, go with me today, set my appointments. There is much that could be done, probably very little that should. Help me discern the difference.”
In “Jesus Calling” today for April 30, there was once again the reminder to value the times when we lack a basic need, because we can fully embrace God in the awareness of our reliance in Him for all things. I don’t like this teaching. I have heard it preached all my life, and I have never liked it.
I choose to believe that God is a good Father. I don’t need to be punished into the reminder of my reliance on Him. I am painfully aware that my next breath is by his Grace, and my health, my ability to earn, my choice, the loved ones that are in good health and all my stuff is all a gift that is exceedingly more than I “deserve”.
I pray, rather, to be the Camel that goes in through the needle gate. Dismounted, unloaded, on my knees. Mark warns us in 4:18 that “the deceitfulness of wealth and the desire for other things come in and choke out the Word making it unfruitful.” I desire the ability to be out of debt, to bless my family with memories of great vacations, to take mission trips and bless others with wealth (actual money) that comes out of my account, and to be able to go when and where God says to in a moment’s notice without worrying whether I can “afford it” or not.
A camel can’t go real fast on it’s knees, as far as I know. That makes me feel a little bit better about my “lack” as I still tend to judge my financial position against my expectations and the world’s standards. The narrow gate is the one I’m headed for–camel optional.