I just read my last post. The feeling is much the same, and I have been having a lot of one-way conversations with God. When I read the Bible, I often end up more confused about the nature of God than before. As I get older (a more “mature” Christian), you’d think that I’d be settling out on my view of God and it bothers me when I read books like Samuel and Hosea.
I keep coming back to a quiet assurance that God is my daddy, and that He cares about everything I bring to Him is coming from the heart, while the mind still tries to take control and assume the role of decision-maker, provider, judge, etc.
I had a wonderful sushi lunch today with my mom, who told me some of the most intricate details about how God works things out for her, and how she and Dad bring everything they can think of to God in prayer each morning. She also reminded me of some of the prophetic that is yet to come to fruition, and how I am VERY blessed, and seem right on track. Reality check.
The reality is that I have no right to worry. My family is healthy, my home is secure, my bills are even paid this month. My reality is that I probably spend more emotional energy and time fretting over what I am not and can not do than over the next thing that I should be doing at any given moment.
So I guess I’ll end it here. I hope someone reads this someday and finds his way out of the thinking trap quicker than I am.