Beyond

In my previous post, “Empty”, you can see the exact moment that I hit rock-bottom, at least from a worldly-success standpoint. If you haven’t been there, this post may not hit the mark with you, but WHEN you do, IF you do, remember the testimony I am about to share here today.

In my case, a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) changed my entire life.*
This is a SPECT scan, from before a month-long Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy (HBOT) regimen that started October 19th and completed November 18th, 2025. The white parts don’t matter, the grey is good and normal, and green to black is bad to terrible:

This is only context. Not a justification, not even an explanation to friends who must think I’m in Florida after a mid-life crisis (and they would be correct!).

The effects of this condition do explain a lot, like why I was such an ass, lost my filter (and have only partially regained it to date), had no energy, couldn’t concentrate, made no money, couldn’t remember squat…. but how it affected my life is the redeeming point to ponder:

By the grace of God, I found The 22 Project. Two 90-minute sessions, 5 days a week for a month–began the healing of the brain (good results starting to show in the post-treatment scan) and flooded my body with budding stem cells, and the effects of the treatments continue to surface for up to 6 months after treatment ends, so I’m literally getting younger and better looking every day, something that I used to declare daily, which caused my x to accuse me of being delusional….. forth-telling, anyone?

I just threw out a book called, “How Divorce… Saved My Life” subtitled, “and why it can save yours too”. It was a well-written detailed account of just how bad a marriage can be, and a celebration of the author’s escape from it, but with no redeeming outcome or lessons learned, other than to get you to ask, “Why” we stay in a life of dysfunction. Admittedly, that may be the point of the book–wake up, ask why you are where you are, and decide what to do about it.

I do not recommend divorce, I think that to do so would be to break one of the greatest commands from Jesus, “Do not judge.” In my case, it very well may have saved my life in many aspects, but it is very costly (both emotionally and financially), and is a painful trade. Many times it is worth the trade to put up with person A* to have access to persons B and C (that can go for children and/or social circles). To put on the face of normalcy and attend church and go to events, while home life continues to be destructive and hurtful and we die inside is something that many married Christians choose to do. _{[* my marriage was badly broken a few years prior to my TBI accident]}

WHERE AM I GOING WITH ALL THIS?

I am now beyond broken. I have a clarity of thought, communication and relationship with God, peace in my relationships, things are lining up and life is becoming better than I had hoped it could be.

I learned that I hate to let go. I think we all do. My motto was literally, “Make it, or die trying.” Then it became “dying trying”. Now, I need a new one, maybe “Giving Living” or “Being is Freeing”… all I know is that God is faithful, I’m still His favorite, and my nuclear family is now Papa, Mama (Spirit) and Bro-Jesus, who invited me to the kitchen table when I didn’t have one of my own.

I long for the day when my adult children wake up and join me in relationship once again. But as Aslan said, in “The Horse and His Boy”, “That’s her story”.